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Little Mother Up the Morderberg
Mother and I discovered two distinct ways of coming down a mountain. [Photo] Andreas Schmidt
Mother hit on the sideways method. She rolled. With the snow in the adhesive state it had got into she had made the jolliest little snowball of herself in half a minute, and the nucleus of as clean and abundant a snow avalanche as anyone could wish. There was plenty of snow going in front of her, and that's the very essence of both our methods. You must fall on your snow, not your snow on you, or it smashes you. And you mustn't mix yourself up with loose stones.
I, on the other hand, went down feet first, and rather like a snowplough; slower than she did, and if, perhaps, with less charm, with more dignity. Also I saw more. But it was certainly a tremendous rush. And I gave a sort of gulp when mummy bumped over the edge into the empty air and vanished.
It was like a toboggan ride gone mad down the slope until I took off from the edge of the precipice, and then it was like a dream.
I'd always thought falling must be horrible. It wasn't in the slightest degree. I might have hung with my clouds and lumps of snow about me for weeks, so great was my serenity. I had an impression then that I was as good as killed—and that it didn't matter. I wasn't afraid—that's nothing!—but I wasn't a bit uncomfortable. Whack! We'd hit something, and I expected to be flying to bits right and left. But we'd only got on to the snowslope below, at so steep an angle that it was merely breaking the fall.Down we went again. I didn't see much of the view after that because the snow was all round and over my head, but I kept feet foremost and in a kind of sitting posture, and then I slowed and then I quickened again and bumped rather, and then harder, and bumped and then bumped again and came to rest. This time I was altogether buried in snow, and twisted sideways with a lot of heavy snow on my right shoulder.
I sat for a bit enjoying the stillness—and then I wondered what had become of mother, and set myself to get out of the snow about me. It wasn't so easy as you might think; the stuff was all in lumps and spaces like a gigantic sponge, and I lost my temper and struggled and swore a good deal, but at last I managed it. I crawled out and found myself on the edge of heaped masses of snow quite close to the upper part of the Magenruhe Glacier. And far away, right up the glacier and near the other side, was a little thing like a black-beetle struggling in the heart of an immense split ball of snow.
I put my hands to my mouth and let out with my version of the yodel, and presently I saw her waving her hand. It took me nearly twenty minutes to get to her. I knew my weakness, and I was very careful of every crevasse I came near. When I got up to her, her face was anxious.
"What have you done with the guides?" she asked.
"They've got too much to carry," I said. "They're coming down another way. Did you like it?"
"Not very much, dear," she said; "but I dare say, I shall get used to these things. Which way do we go now?"
I decided we'd find a snow-bridge across the bergschrund—that's the word I forgot just now—and so get on to the rocks on the east side of the glacier, and after that we had uneventful going right down to the hotel...
Our return evoked such a strain of hostility and envy as I have never met before or since. First they tried to make out we'd never been to the top at all, but mother's little proud voice settled that sort of insult. And besides, there was the evidence of the guides and porters following us down. When they asked about the guides, "They're following your methods," I said, "and I suppose they'll get back here tomorrow morning somewhen."
That didn't please them.
I claimed a record. They said my methods were illegitimate.
"If I see fit," I said, "to use an avalanche to get back by, what's that to you? You tell me me and mother can't do the confounded mountain anyhow, and when we do you want to invent a lot of rules to disqualify us. You'll say next one mustn't glissade. I've made a record, and you know I've made a record, and you're about as sour as you can be. The fact of it is, you chaps don't know your own silly business. Here's a good, quick way of coming down a mountain, and you ought to know about it—"
"The chance that both of you are not killed was one in a thousand."
"Nonsense! It's the proper way to come down for anyone who hasn't a hide-bound mind. You chaps ought to practice falling great heights in snow. It's perfectly easy and perfectly safe, if only you know how to set about it."
"Look here, young man," said the oldish young man with the little gray beard, "you don't seem to understand that you and that lady have been saved by a kind of miracle—"
"Theory!" I interrupted. "I'm surprised you fellows ever come to Switzerland. If I were your kind I'd just invent theoretical mountains and play for points. However, you're tired, little mummy. It's time you had some nice warm soup and tucked yourself up in bed. I sha'n't let you get up for six-and-thirty hours."
But it's queer how people detest a little originality.
—Reprinted from the April 1910 issue of Strand Magazine
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