Jedi Repeat Zion MacNamara Route


 

You ever look at your pictures after a route and think, "Who are these people? They look familiar, but I'm pretty sure I wasn't having that much fun." [Photo] Ryan FrostCollection

[Photo] Ryan FrostCollection

Hang ten, bitches. [Photo] Ryan FrostCollection

[Photo] Ryan FrostCollection

The morning after the second present day. Summit of Drop Zone, ZNP.

When we awoke from our shivery dirt naps, we could have sworn there was something we had to do. We packed the bags, headed for the raps. There, we remembered: The Quest. Instead of down, we went up. Up vast grainy slabs, through thickets of manzanita and prickly pear. The sky darkened, turned green. Brimstone filled the air. Finally, at the brink of a bottomless chasm crossed by a rickety bridge, stood an withered old man.

"So," said the old man, "a great wall climber and an internet spraylord and a Jedi knight approacheth."

Matt said he was pretty sure who was who and I did too. I called dibs real fast on that Jedi thing. Matt said we were looking for Chris McNamara.

"First answer me this. What . . . is your name?"

"Matt."

"What," the old man said, "is your quest?"

advertisement

"You know what," Matt said, "if we're gonna come all the way up here and treat you like some kind of wise man, why don't you put the effort in and come up with some of your own material. Don't rip off classic movies."

"Yeah." I said. I can be pretty tough when other people start it first.

"And that's another thing," Matt said, turning to me. "If you think I'm excited about your little TR here, well, think again, bub."

"What's with all the attitude all of a sudden?"

"Don't make me look like an ass. And don't make it seem like I got a big man-crush on McNamara or something."

"Okay."

"And don't just fill up the whole TR with pointless dialog, like people will read all that crap. They just want pictures, they're stupid. They want climbing porn so just give it to them and leave me out of it."

A little more timid I said, "Maybe you could ask your question and we can bail."

[Photo] Ryan FrostCollection

"My pard is right," Matt said. "Just tell us what we want to know and we'll let you get back to...whatever it is you got going on up here. Where's McNamara?"

The Conqueror and the Conquoree's. [Photo] Ryan FrostCollection

The old man stroked his beard. His curled fingernails clicked on each other. "Ah, yes. Many years ago two others visited me here. One was very young, the force was strong with him."

"That's the one. Where's he at?"

"Ahhh. Well the older one walked away with the bags. He walks among you still. But the child . . .the Chosen One, he walks no more. He has sprouted wings and now he soars."

A description of the first ascent and a topo can be read here. Props to Chris and Dougald.

Previous Page     [   1 2   ]
Here at Alpinist, our small editorial staff works hard to create in-depth stories that are thoughtfully edited, thoroughly fact-checked and beautifully designed. Please consider supporting our efforts by subscribing.